Hello People of < insert site name here >:

I am extremely ill. A few months ago i became manic, and it has developed into the most severe mania i’ve had in over 10yrs. I cannot socmed because it triggers extreme anxiety. I cannot maintain my blog or Medium writing because it triggers a higher level of mania. I cannot grieve the loss of one of the best humans i ever knew with my community because i will wind up committed — and at this point i am an eyelash away from a more long term solution to my current issues.

Mania like this means i lost complete control of my system and did a lot of things i hope one day to be able to label “adventures.”

I am sober, but my body is physically, literally broken. I need to recuperate. I am in intensive therapy. I may still require something more regimented and long-term to keep me safe and alive.

I am stepping away from all of you and all of whatever this internet life thing is.
I hope that i can come back, but i don’t know. If i come to the decision that socmed is bad for my health or just more than i care to manage, i will make sure you all know.

If you are a monkey (IYKYK), you may ask ahud for my mailing address, but keep it light. No religion, no discussion of our recent loss, no advice, no drama. It doesn’t have to be like a thank you letter to your Auntie Carol for the birthday socks, but i cannot handle the heavy stuff right now.

Y’all hang in there.