I would prefer to be mad about it
but i’m trying to be a grownup
I call myself a late bloomer
but i’m old for crissake’s
I built this space around me
but it was given to me for nothing
I wish she was still here
but i cannot thank her now
I only have people in here that i want
but they don’t return the favour
I wonder about wandering
but i’d get no understanding
I know that i’d be on my own
but i’ve always been alone
I thought i had someone
but the desert between us says no
I think these plans are wise to make
but i sure don’t want to make them
I might find a grand adventure
but i think i probably won’t
I will have my self-respect
but not much else besides
I can’t say i didn’t try
but everyone else probably will
I suppose it won’t matter
but oh boy i know it does
I’d like to be in a rage about it all
but i’m just sitting here crying
I feel relief in the decision
but it hurts all the same
I don’t want to do this
but i might die if i don’t
I am already saying goodbye

~ Mine, May 10, 2021

IMAGE: Atlas Green