I’m not entirely sure i’m ready to move on
but moving on i shall be nonetheless
If i need to look back
to step back
even to revisit
then so be it
For some days now though
i’ve felt something settle into my blood
my bones
I can see it in my eyes
my visage
It’s in the way my hands set to a task
in my feet as they form their steps into the rug
the hardwood
the gravel road
I feel a pull in me
It’s not intellectual
as is my usual way
Nor do i feel it in my heart
that alternately achy and bursty palace of hot muscle
It’s lower by a turn
My solar plexus and my navel reach out
towards the road
Tendrils of diaphanous wishes shooting from me like silver threads
a diaspora from my own country
I will travel far from home
as far as i may
I was only born here
I don’t know what’s out there
but this was never my nation
and i am ready for new lands
This place i’ve grown up in is beautiful in its way
but the familiarity of it cannot penetrate my despair or self-pity
My knees wake me in the night
craving adventure
bucking me out of the warm softness of my bed
Yes
i’ve worked hard to carve out this space around me
and it’s pretty and safe
but the rains and winds
and welcome swelter
are too well acquainted
It’s time for me to move on
I look at the horizon and it always glows
It could be a train
sure it could
but i don’t think so
Poetry aside
my friends
i think it is the sun
And i am through with crying and feeling this sad

~ Mine, April 13, 2021

IMAGE: Helena Gunnare